I’ll never forget the first time I heard them argue, the first time everything went downhill, having to act like everything’s perfect after that and still to this day act like nothing happened. I hate having to act perfect in front of everyone around us. Mom and Dad drink like they breathe, it’s like there second nature. Every day I wake up thinking how lucky I am but really am I? I know I have a Mom and Dad but do they argue as much? Do they drink as much? Please. Help me.

Everything went bad when 7^th grade started, Mom and Dad have drunken to the point where they pass out before and argued before but not when it’s every few weeks. Each time they fought I fooled myself into thinking that it was only going to happen once but no it happened and each time it was more constant. Dad worked different days then mom, the weekend was when they would spend time together and drink and hangout yet each time they hung out with each other I had this small concern that it would happen again and it did. My younger brother and I acted like we didn’t notice the arguments or move on like the argument never happened. As weeks went on we never spoke about the arguments, acted like the perfect family, like we were trapped in a dollhouse.

When the first week of April came we went to a friend’s house, mom and dad got drunk. As we left Mom was annoyed with Dad and they argued in the car, my dad got so irritated that he almost hit another car and drove home. Mom thought he hit the car and was so scared and Dad didn’t care, then that day was the first time I ever said anything to them while they were arguing. I told them it was enough and for them to stop arguing and to calm down and after that we moved on from the night before. Whenever conflict arises mom, dad and my brother all forget about the argument but I always remember the disagreement. Help me. The disagreements were always the on the right on schedule and was always in a pattern. I’ve been so sick about their arguments that I’ve wanted to say something but I’m scared of the consequences that would come.

Once 8^th grade started Mom and Dad started arguing less but when they did it was much scarier. They would fight about bills, money and the scariest thing of all to a kid, divorce. They would argue at least once or twice a month, then everything changed Mom and Dad would argue over the smallest things or fight out of nowhere and at random times like, at home in the car and grandma’s house. One year past when dad almost hit a car and we went back to our friend’s house and it happened again but I think this time was the worst fight of it all. Mom and Dad went out with the adults and left me in charge they left and came back four hours later. When they came back they were drunk and I could tell that Mom was irritated with everyone and dad was just relaxed and just wanted to go home. She got mad at him in the car and they started yelling at each other, my brother and I told them to stop and to relax but neither of them would listen. As they were yelling at each other Mom tried to get out of the car while it was moving but I had to hold the door close. When we got to the gate she got out the car and left and started walking, I followed her out, grabbed her arm and told her to come home and we slowly walked home and she told me she was sick of her job and sick of my Dad. I was crying as I told her that I was sick of acting like were perfect and acting like nothing happens after they fight, she told me that she wanted to let my Dad walk out after that I said nothing, we walked home and five minutes later everything was back to normal. Help me.

I also get verbally bullied by my younger brother, I know it’s pathetic and sad. My brother treats me worse than dirt, he treats me like I’m nothing. He says some of the meanest things I’ve ever heard, the usual verbal abuse words are fat, idiot and loner. The worst thing I think he’s called me is and 8^th grader who doesn’t know how to do anything but it’s ironic when moms too tired to cook diner or doesn’t feel well, I cook food for us, I get stuff done and after I do all that for him he acts like I’ve done nothing for him. My brother acts like he doesn’t know how to do simple things like how to warm up food or use the microwave, he called himself the “6^th grader who can take a hit” or the “smart brother” and yet he acts like a baby. I don’t understand why he treats me like this I haven’t done anything wrong to him, I’ve never hurt him, I’ve only tried to be a good older sibling and as much as he hurts me I never can hurt him back I don’t know why.

I’ve had so many chances to end it all but something kept telling me to go on and live but I’m so sick of living like this but I knew I should go on because nothing good would happen if I left this place for good. A few months passed by, Mom and Dad haven’t fought and everything is peaceful and perfect. But as everything seemed perfect they got drunk and argued like they never did, my dad told us to go to our room and we did, we could hear them yell at us like they were right next to us. My Mom grabbed a knife and tried to throw it at my dad but missed and once she threw it, my brother came out of the room to get something to drink, his left arm was stabbed. There was so much blood on the floor, I called the police and packed an overnight bag for him, my parents spoke to the police and I spoke to the paramedics. The police officers said that they had to go to court and could lose my brother and me, they would also go to an alcoholics anonymous meetings for 60 days. Right then and there mom and dad realized that they were the problem and realized that they forgot the reasons of why they fell in love, so they went to couples counseling and made it work. By the time school started my brother had to wear a bandage around his arm but he’s fine, my parents learned to work together and for our family it wasn’t perfect, it was normal. I know that this is a dollhouse phase and like every good thing it will end and this time it will end in pieces. Help me.