I hate Frozen, not because of “Let it go” but because it gave people a sense of always having happy conclusions and never ending love. Like how Anna helps Elsa with love. Reality says it is not like that. It is not the happy conclusion that you wanted. There is never the one person who will love you.
At least I thought, until last week.
I walked into 3rd period, Art. It was the only place where I could express my deepest feelings and who I really was. Although, now that my best friend moved I hated it. I hated that she was not there for me; she was the one who could step up for me when I felt cowardly. I needed someone like that again. I looked at the person across from me and stated, “I really like your outfit, it’s nice” She looked at me and went back to what she was doing.
Why is it that I cannot communicate with others? All I ever wanted to do is touch another human not with my hands, but with my heart. It is so pathetic, one second I was fine and the next I disintegrated into nothing.
Henry came over to my table and said, “Hey Ada, you want to have lunch with us?”
It was so bizarre, so unreal. The hottest person in the school talking to me. He seemed so energetic and I seemed inadequate to his attention.
A moment later, I snapped back to reality, I looked over his shoulder and saw the other people snickering and they looked buff. If I went to lunch with them, being as delicate as a feather, I could be vulnerable to their insults. “No, I’m good” I said. He must have noticed me looking over his shoulder because he looked at me and said “Okay, then maybe after school?”
“Yeah, maybe” I replied
After school rolled around and I could not find him, I decided to go back to where I had met him, the art room. Sure enough, he was there, sitting at the same table we met. “Hey” he said. “Hey, what do you want to do?” I asked, “Well, I’m going to head to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” He said and dashed out of the room.
Just then Chelsea, my mortal enemy walked in she watched Henry pass by, then looked at me, she put on a face of disgust, and scowled as she walked towards me. “Oh honey, you think he could ever like a thing like you?” she asked. She put on a pathetic smile “Not in a million years, watch I’m going to have Henry wrapped around my finger.” She assured. I glared at her, enraged I said, “Go ahead try, I dare you too”
I ran away. I hated her; she made me defenseless and unwanted. She is the biggest the reason I have nobody to care about me, the reason why I’m so bundled up in my own world of hurtful emotions, the reason why I chug down pills.
I ran past Henry, past the hurt, past my desolate life. I did not realize I was crying until I reached home. Running to my bed for safety, I slept the whole night.
The next morning, I saw all the couples. They all looked good together, because when you have been isolated for a long time, any prospect of a relationship looked good. I wonder if Henry and I would look good together.
With that thought in my mind, I strolled through the halls and I saw it. Henry was with a Chelsea, the girl who treated me like nothing, the girl who was always calling me things like worthless, and self-pitying. It pained me to see Henry with another, especially her. I do not know if its jealousy or the hurt, but I felt like crying. I despised myself, for not telling him my feelings, not staying close to him, for not accepting his friendship completely. However, did he not see I was grieving and terrified? Did he not see the pain in my eyes? I looked away and realized there were tears in my eyes, the ones that yelled, “You’re pathetic”. I started to jog and when I heard him say my name, I ran. I looked back at him with teary red eyes and yelled, “I HATE YOU!” as I ran away.
Later I walked into the library and checked out a book. As I put the book down on the table, I saw the librarian raise an eyebrow “That’s, a really gruesome book. Are you sure you want to check it out?” she questioned. “Yup” I said with a smile on my face. This gruesome book makes me happy, no matter how many times I read it. It is about a girl who is devoured by her own demon and turns back into an angel all by herself. With no else helping her, I want to be her. I need to be her. If I could do that, it would make me special, powerful and beautiful in my own perfect ways.
That is when I looked up, Henry.
Completely surprised, I closed the book losing my page and I stood up ready to leave. I put the book in my arms ready to turn around and walk away, when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. “Henry please, just let me go I need to be alone,” I said with a gloomy voice. It is not like I minded being alone. I have been alone for so long, that’s its almost normal. The thought, that the person I have feelings for was dating my mortal enemy. It would have hurt less if he were with someone who was not selfish and made him happy. If only I did not say…
“Hey, I didn’t date Chelsea because I actually like her” He said. My ears perked up and I turned around to look him in the eye. He had a look of sympathy in his eyes. He continued, “I dated her because, she threatened that if I didn’t date her, she was going to post that video of you.” I suddenly realized the meaning of Chelsea’s words “I’ll have him wrapped around my finger.” She had been using him, to get to me!
Then Henry started to talk again, and I turned my attention back to him. “I knew that if she managed to get that video out you would be ruined.” Not THAT video. The reason I had no friends, is that video. Everyone thought I betrayed my best friend, but the truth is she betrayed me. She knew I liked Henry and went behind my back to date him, and when I found out, we fought, with our fists. Henry finding out she used him, dumped her and she switched schools. In addition, Chelsea had caught it all on film, every moment of it. He said. Then he smiled at me “That’s not something I would want to have happen to you.”
Henry really does care about me. He had protected me when I needed it the most. Nevertheless, I stared at him focusing on nothing else, then he said something that made my heart leap. “There’s something special about you, you’re different and have potential to become something beautiful.” He smiled. Was he serious? About what he said, about me becoming something beautiful. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I said followed by a playful laugh. “Let me finish” He said immediately.
He looked straight into my eyes and said to me, “I love you. I will always love you, and stay with you for as long as you need me to. If you need, the medication again go ahead and take it—I will love you throughout that as well. My love for you is stronger than depression, braver than loneliness, better than pills.”
Hot tears ran through my face, as he said it. The sight of his brown eyes made my cry even more. More than I have ever cried before.
“I love y—” Before I could finish, he pushed me closer and kissed me.
Thank you Henry, I smiled into the Kiss. Thank you for being my Anna.